


The Stunning Adventures of Ardeth and Jonathan

by the_technicolor_whiscash



Series: The Stunning Adventures of Ardeth and Jonathan [1]
Category: The Mummy (1999), The Mummy Series
Genre: Post-The Mummy, Pre-The Mummy Returns, and hanging in the desert, facing some slight Mummy issues, just two bros getting to know each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-10-26 19:19:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10793103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_technicolor_whiscash/pseuds/the_technicolor_whiscash
Summary: After the events of the Mummy, Ardeth Bay returned to his life in the desert. One day, purely by chance, he runs into Jonathan Carnahan, who's visiting from England.





	The Stunning Adventures of Ardeth and Jonathan

**Author's Note:**

> Jonathan has many layers like an onion. Or like Shrek.  
> Don't hate me for that.

About a year after the events with Imhotep, I was still living in the desert close to his tomb. As a sworn protector of mankind, I felt obliged to stay, even if it wasn't likely that he would come to life again. I had long since parted ways with Rick, Evelyn, and Jonathan, and part of me hoped that they would stay out of Egypt for good, so as to avoid another incident like the last one. But I knew it would be unlikely, given that Evelyn was an Egyptologist, and where she went, Rick and her brother were sure to follow. Well, maybe not her brother. Jonathan was usually either third wheeling those two, or running off, causing trouble on his own. He was odd, that one. I don't know why he bothered following the two of them around, since he seemed to have no genuine interest in archeology. He just seemed to tag along since he had nothing better to do.  
At least, that was what I thought. Until I got to know him better.  
One day, I was riding around the desert on my camel, minding my own business, when I spotted someone lying facedown in the sand. As that is usually a bad sign, I decided to go and investigate. From what I could tell when I approached them, they were still breathing, which was good, but they didn't seem to be conscious. I got off of my camel and turned them over, revealing none other than a sunburned, unconscious Jonathan Carnahan. I tapped his face a few times, but he didn't wake up, so I went back to my camel and took out a canteen of water. I poured it on his face, and he came spluttering back to life.  
“Jesus, mate, why'd you have to do that!” He yelled, in his characteristic British accent. He looked up, and his eyes widened in recognition. “Ardeth? Where'd you come from?”  
“Hello to you too, Jonathan.” I said. “I live here.”  
He frowned. “In the desert? Why?”  
“I like it here. Plus, I want to be prepared in the event that Imhotep comes back.”  
“You really think he's going to come back?”  
“There's a good chance he's not done yet.”  
Jonathan sighed. “Wonderful. I come back to Egypt for one week, I black out drunk, next thing I know I wake up in the desert to the news that Imhotep’s coming back.”  
I raised an eyebrow. “Why did you come back? Last time you were here, you told me you hated Egypt, and wanted to be back in a British pub.”  
“Funny story, actually. Well, not really funny, because someone died, but still a story.”  
By now, I was getting interested. I sat down in front of him. “Do tell.”  
“Well, I was back in England, I got into a bit of trouble with a museum curator’s daughter.”  
“You slept with her?”  
“No, no. I wanted to, but I never actually got around to asking her. You see, I sold her some ancient artifacts which weren't actually ancient. I didn't know that, however, until the girl’s father came knocking on my door. Except I wasn't home, I was out at the pub, because it was the night of Rick’s bachelor party.”  
“Right. I got an invitation to that. I sent them a card.”  
“It was a nice wedding. Anyhoo, I got hammered, so I black out drunk. I don't remember much of what happened until the next morning, when I woke up hungover in my apartment next to a stripper named Dianna, lovely girl, and there was blood all over the floor. It definitely wasn't mine, and it wasn't Dianna’s, so it had to be a third party's.  
“I passed out for an hour or two, but after I woke up, Dianna told me that the blood had been on the floor when we came into the room, and that we never actually had sex, since I passed out before we could do anything. Of course, I wanted to know who had bled all over my floor, so I made myself a cup of tea and explored my apartment. However, the dead guy wasn't in my apartment, he was three floors below, on the balcony of this arsehole who tried to kill my other neighbor’s cats. How he got there, I don't know. But I think the deal was, the blokes who sold me the fake artifact wanted to kill me, since I only paid half of their price, so they came to my apartment, and they thought that the girl’s father was me, so they shot him, ransacked my apartment, and left, all before I got home at 2.”  
“Wow.”  
“I know, right? So, needless to say, I decided to leave Britain right after Evy and Rick’s wedding, and spend some time here, where I could drink freely without having to worry about being murdered.”  
“And why did you come to Egypt, and not somewhere else?”  
“Because I know some people in Egypt, so I've been staying with a few different people. I'd go to America, but they don't really like me there, and frankly I don't like them either. Rick is an exception, just because he's married to my sister.”  
I scratched my chin, thinking for a moment. “You can crash at my place, if you want. It's just a shack, but it's better than the open desert.”  
He looked surprised at my offer. “Really? That'd be great, thank you.”  
“No problem.” I said. As irritating as he could be, it would be nice to have Jonathan around. Just to have someone to talk to. 

Jonathan had been there for a little over a week when the weird occurrences started up. At first, I passed it off as mere illusions. But it was hard not to notice the scarab beetles crawling around the camp, and getting into the food supplies, and filling up your boots. I decided that it was time to do something when Jonathan awoke with a beetle on his face and screamed like a little girl.  
It was clearly the work of Imhotep, so Jonathan and I travelled to Imhotep’s tomb. It looked about the same as when we had left it, except maybe with more sand.  
“Are we really going back down there?” Jonathan said, a slight tinge of fear on his voice.  
“Yes. What did you think we were doing here?” I replied.  
He sighed. “I hoped you were kidding.”  
We dismounted our camels, and I proceeded into the tomb. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, though the last time I was there was when I had been running away from the Mummy, so I didn't exactly have the place memorized.  
After a few minutes of searching, we came upon the large room in which Imhotep’s sarcophagus was kept. Immediately, I noticed the sheer number of scarab shells on the ground.  
Jonathan picked up one and shook it. Suddenly, it began to move, and Jonathan abruptly threw it at the wall.  
“Oh, god, they're alive!” He exclaimed. “What the hell?”  
Then came a scratching. A loud, collective scratching, caused by hundreds of tiny feet moving at once. All of the scarabs were coming to life, and they were all swarming towards Jonathan and I.  
I pulled out my sword, but almost immediately I could tell it would be of no use.  
“Run!” I yelled, and we bolted off down the hall.  
After a few twists and turns, we managed to make it outside. I looked back over my shoulder, and discovered that the beetles didn't seem to be able to get past the doorway of the tomb. Some ancient spell must have trapped them within, preventing them from escaping. For once, I was thankful for an ancient spell.  
“What the bloody hell was that?” Yelled Jonathan.  
I sheathed my sword and ran a hand through my hair. “Some ancient spell. We must've disturbed it.”  
“So they're not going to crawl out and kill us?”  
“No. They're trapped in there.”  
“Good. Good.” He sounded slightly perturbed.  
I raised an eyebrow. “Is there something bothering you, Jonathan?”  
He shook his head. “No, it's nothing. I just wanted to make sure those bugs wouldn't come out and kill everyone on earth, that's all.”  
He had a good poker face, but not good enough. “You didn't want to be responsible for the destruction of humanity, because you picked up that bug.”  
He bit his lip. “Yes, that sounds about right.”  
“There's no shame in admitting your fear, Jonathan. And besides, even if they did destroy humanity, no one would be able to pin it on you.”  
He nodded. After a moment, he muttered, “Thank you, Ardeth. I… I needed that.”  
I smiled. “I know you did.” 

The next two weeks or so were somewhat uneventful. Jonathan and I periodically went back to Imhotep’s tomb, to make sure nothing was happening. Throughout these weeks, I got to know Jonathan better. Despite his exterior, he was deep and sensitive, and desperately wanted to live up to the success of his sister. He was sad inside, at least a little, and it showed when he talked on personal matters. I tried to give him as much support as I could, but there's only so much you can do.  
One day, Jonathan came up to me while I was whittling. He had an expression which seemed both sad and determined, like there was something he needed to do but didn't want to.  
“Morning, old chap.” He said. “How's it going?”  
“Not bad. And you?”  
“Oh, I've had better days.” He seemed to be contemplating what to say next. “I think… I think it's time I should be heading back to England. I've been away for long enough, and I doubt that those guys will want to kill me anymore.”  
I was slightly taken aback, but I could understand why he wanted to go back. “Well, I can't say I won't be sorry to see you go.”  
“Thank you for letting me crash with you, Ardeth. I don't really know what I would've done without you. You've been a good friend.” I could tell he was getting a little choked up. “And I do hope we’ll meet again.”  
I walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder reassuringly. “I’m sure we will, Jonathan. And we can always write, if there's anything urgent.”  
“Right, yes, of course.” He shifted his weight. “Well, I guess I'll be going then. See you around.”  
“Goodbye, Jonathan. Safe travels.”  
He gave a slight wave, and I waved back. Part of me wanted to say something else, but as they say, parting is such sweet sorrow, and I doubt that keeping him any longer would have helped either of us.  
But I valued that time I spent with Jonathan. I got to know him better, and I discovered that he wasn't just a sarcastic, slightly alcoholic jokester. No, he was a deep person, with many layers to him. And I appreciated that about him. You never truly get to know someone until you spend a month in the desert with them. 

I didn't see Jonathan, nor his sister and her husband for a long while after that. It was a good ten years before I saw them again, and in that time, much had changed. Rick and Evy had had a child, and married life was suiting them well. Jonathan, however, was still unwed, and pretty much the same. He and I kept in touch for those ten long years, exchanging letters and telegrams, keeping each other informed on the happenings in our respective areas. But the next time we met, it was not nearly as cheerful, given that we were dealing with not only Imhotep, but the Scorpion King.

**Author's Note:**

> I probably could have fleshed out the scarab part a bit more but I was tired and so I just sort of ended it  
> I might continue this depending on if I can come up with something


End file.
